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The recent trend in Internet Dating has been the use of a 'computer personality test' of some sort. Websites claim that these tests, usually developed by a 'top psychologist', have the ability to understand you and your needs through a series of questions. Confused? Lost in love? Problems communicating? Don't worry, the Online Dating Hal 5000 can figure you out! In fact, when you're done, this computer program will know your needs and desires better than you do. Remember the Broadway play “Fiddler on The Roof”? You might not, it was the first Broadway play I went to when I was seven. A song that always stuck in my head for some reason was “matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match…” The song starts as a plea to the matchmaker to bring true love straight to the altar; someone beautiful, rich, intelligent, and perfect. But by the end of the song, the singer realizes that the Matchmaker might not be up to the task. She decides that “playing with matches, a girl can get burned”. So, do these tests really work? Personality tests have a long history. Really, really smart guys with names like Freud, Maslov, Fromm, and Jung developed respected psychological theories, and these theories are used as the basis for all types of tests. “The Big Five” theory suggests that there are five dimensions of personality: openness to experience, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. Some popular personality tests use this as a foundation. Others go the “Big Three” route, which does away with the “openness” and “agreeableness” dimensions - mostly because it’s easier to remember. I joke a little about these theories, but the truth is that they’ve survived the test of time and there is a ton of scientific research behind them. The real question is if these tests can be effective in applying a theory to the complexity of a human being. Add to this the additional layer of meshing your answers with another, equally complex person. That’s a tall order. People have impulsive behavior that simply can’t be measured when they’re sitting, relaxed and introspective, taking one of these tests. Often our answers reflect our perfect (or hopeful) idea of ourselves. Even if we are trying our best to be honest, our impulsive behavior in real-life situations can be far different than we’d expect. Another wildcard is attraction. We can meet someone who’s empirically good-looking, has a similar background, is kind and successful – and yet we’re not attracted. Often we can’t explain why we like another person. It may be how they make us laugh, a crooked smile – even how they smell! Sometimes little things that are immeasurable on their own can collectively make us attracted. Human beings and our emotions and desires are far too complex, and a computer program can’t solve the riddles of our romantic lives. As Jung put it, “the meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is a reaction both are transformed”. It sounds good, but even Jung was hedging his bet when it comes to love. What will cause two individuals to react to each other? Even the developers of the study of personality would not presume that a series of questions could predict romance. If you rely solely on matchmaking services, you are missing the entire beauty of online dating. The beauty is opportunity. Online dating offers you an almost limitless opportunity to meet and date new people. It gives you the time and space to find what best suits you. Going to a quality dating site that isn’t trying to sell you fantasy of finding your match for you will mean you will have a pool of millions of singles to meet. Treat matchmaking options as just another fun way to explore. It can serve as an ice breaker to start a conversation, but don’t expect them to be the answer to finding your perfect match. Keep all options open and explore possibilities. As a unique individual, only can you know what works for you. You need to develop skills to communicate and meet people. Developing both online and offline dating skills is the best way to find the right relationship. Next time you’re brushing your teeth, take a look in the mirror. See that amazing person? That’s your matchmaker with a mouthful of toothpaste. Take charge of your life and get into action! Enjoy dating and enjoy the process of discovery. Your experiences, both good and not-so-good, are essential to finding the right person for you.
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Advice Home Business Technology Online Advertising Motivational Internet Marketing SEO Help Online Games Science Articles Happiness More Articles:1. Effective Ways To Stop Smoking Cigarettes A purpose is the eternal condition for success. Every former smoker can tell you just how hard it is to stop smoking cigarettes. However, there are a range of stop smoking commodities that can assist you on your transition to a smoke-free lifestyle. Though there is no cure for smoking, there are a variety of smoking free videos, quit smoking aid groups and prescription and natural stop smoking aids that will make your endeavour to quit smoking ci… 2. How To Save Up To 70% On Christmas Gifts How many times have you spent more that you could afford on Christmas gifts for your family? How many times have you bought gifts that weren't what you were looking for and on top of that, paid top dollars for them?It has happened to all of us one too many times.Well, you can SAVE money on all your Christmas Gifts by:1. Making a list.It's always convenient to make a list of all the people that you will be giving a gift to. Make sure you know wha… 3. Are You An Entrepreneur? With all the buzz about everybody being an entrepreneur these days wouldn't it be nice if you could really find out if you have what it takes?Sure it would.The following profile was adopted over a period of several years of research from successful entrepreneurs worldwide to assist would-be entrepreneurs determine if they have the traits to undertake a new venture.Can we describe what an entrepreneur is? Simply, an entrepreneur is one who underta… 4. Quick steps to find out what you want to do with your life. How To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life.Knowing what you like to do and then finding someone to pay you for it is the key to happiness.Motivational Speaker, Author and TV show host, Edward W. Smith, who specializes in quick tips on how to move your life ahead even faster, offers this advice on how to find out what you love to doThis is the 'manila envelope' technique. Obtain a manila envelope, notepad and pen and carry it with you thro… |