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'I just don't understand men. Last night I was sitting at the kitchen table, when my husband wandered by with a glass in his hand. 'I asked him, 'Is that a triple-coconut-cream-of-pickle-juice spritzer with a dash of chili powder you're drinking?' He says, 'Sure. What else?' It looked so yummy, that I just had to have a taste. 'Put it down here on the table for me, please,' I asked. 'Want to know what he did next? He emptied his glass on the table. Right there in front of me. It went flowing all over me and all over the chair and all over the floor. Yeach! What a mess. What on earth was he thinking?' Signed, Soaking Lady, 42 Bouncing Canyon Lane I get strange letters all the time. Everybody wants to be happy, and they all think The Happy Guy can solve their problems. Here's another letter I received just today: 'Hey Happy Guy, 'Can you explain women to me? You just can't please 'em. 'Take last night for example. There I was minding my own business, sipping on a juicy glass of triple-coconut-cream-of-pickle-juice spritzer with a dash of chili powder, when my wife asks me to pour it on the table. I mean, is that a crazy request or what? 'But wait. It gets worse. Even though it means sacrificing the triple-coconut-cream-of-pickle-juice spritzer with a dash of chili powder I love so much, I pour it on the table for her. So what does she do? She blows up. She shouts and screams and yells all sorts of four letter words ... each with at least ten letters. 'Can you help me understand women?.' Signed, Thirsty Man, 42 Bouncing Canyon Lane Sa-ay. These two letters are from the same address. Go figure. After a while, a man discovers that he and his wife do not even speak the same language. Sure, we both call it 'English', but we each use different dictionaries. Consider the word 'fine'. When a woman uses the word 'fine', a man knows he has just lost an argument. 'Fine' is a woman's way of saying, 'OK, you win the argument, but you only win because I let you, and I am still right, so take your duct tape and put it somewhere useful ... like across your mouth!' To a man, 'fine' means something completely different. It means that something is fine. It is good. It is as it should be. Some men, such as yours truly, use 'fine' as a response when a woman asks, 'How do I look in this new dress I bought?' Men like that ought to just hop in front of a moving train to save themselves a lifetime of slow, painful torture. When a man says 'fine' to a woman, it won't be long before that woman says 'fine' to him. Better get out your duct tape. So my answer to Soaking Lady is this: 'If you don't like triple-coconut-cream-of-pickle-juice spritzer with a dash of chili all over the table and the chair and the floor, just ask your husband to wipe it up. Anyone loving enough to pour such an obviously tasty treat on the table at your request, will just as lovingly lap it up.' And my answer to Thirsty Man is this: 'No, I can't.' Every relationship works best when we use words the listener will understand as we mean them to be understood. For instance, if a man says 'fine' and a woman hears 'yuck!', just don't use the word 'fine'. Or, do what I do. Keep plenty of extra duct tape for a very rainy day.
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Advice Home Business Technology Online Advertising Motivational Internet Marketing SEO Help Online Games Science Articles Happiness More Articles:1. REMOVALS: PACKING Peter Driscoll of European Transport Brokers (www.etbrokers-removals.com) takes you through some of the trials and tribulations associated with moving to Europe and explains away some of the mystery associated with moving to France.As always its all about size, and when moving size IS important! >=Well sir, it looks to me that you have about 45 cubic metres here, but Ill have to get back to the office to confirm that=Ah= but the last company told… 2. The Amazing Power of Small Steps It's the small things in life that can drive you loco on anygiven day, isn't it? (yes, I see heads nodding!). Like thebatteries dying in your garage door opener in the middle ofthe mother of all rainstorms. Or the birdfeeder that makesa mess on the back patio. Or the leaky bathroom faucet.But it's also the small things in life that seem to make itall worthwhile. A hug from a child, making a new friend, abeautiful sunset, getting something on sale… 3. Do I need to be a resident of Cyprus to buy property in Cyprus? One of the first questions that most of us when we are thinking about buying property abroad is whether or not we need to be a resident in that country. Given that a lot of countries around the world don’t permit non-residents to buy freehold property, this is only a natural question to ask. Untypically, and very much to its credit, Cyprus is not like most other foreign countries however as it has a very relaxed policy towards non-Cypriots buying… 4. Moving Quote Types and How To Get Them The quoted price for your move is calculated based on the weight of you belongings and the distance you need to move them. In the price are also included the packages used and other services that you might require. The moving company will give you a moving quote that is based on the weight they know about and the items they count so you should help the movers by showing them every single item that needs to be moved. Look in the garage, basement, … |