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“If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself,” wrote the author Hermann Hesse. “That isn’t part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us.” Hesse calls it “hating” the other person, but your reaction can be milder, such as annoyance, disgust, dislike, or a general feeling of wanting to be elsewhere. It’s likely when you feel these things, if you handle the situation with your Emotional Intelligence, you can learn some important things about the other person, your emotions, and also about yourself. Typically we clash with people who are like us in some way, or exhibiting some trait we ourselves have trouble with, and this triggers emotions that need looking at. Emotional Intelligence is all about being aware of your emotions, understanding where they’re coming from and what information they’re trying to give you, and then thinking it through before you respond (or not). Next time you’re with a person who annoys you stop and process what’s going on. If you think they’re “pig-headed” for instance, could this be because you are, or were, or are struggling with this trait in yourself? If you think they’re “scattered and disorganized” could this be because you work so hard to keep yourself focused and organized and don’t like to be reminded about how hard it is? The trick – the learning point – is to sit with the emotion and explore it a bit. Be honest with yourself about where it’s coming from. When you think about it, if you weren’t pig-headed or scattered in the least, your reaction to someone who was would be of either compassion or curiosity. You might wonder how they got that way, or be eager to teach them how to conduct themselves in a manner that was more productive. Instead, if you know the trait all too well, it’s pulling on something inside you, and this is one of the ways our emotions give us information. Sort through what you’re feeling, being honest with yourself. Is their pig-headedness or lack of focus reminding you of yourself at your worst? Is it bringing about the emotions in you that stir when you ARE being pig-headed or scattered? Emotional Intelligence means putting a pause between emotions and response. It means allowing the emotion to process and learning from it, and then using your thinking brain to come up with a purposeful response. Sometimes it may mean not responding at all. If you do respond, you need to put some thought into it. Don’t let it be just an automatic reaction to what’s going on. That doesn’t help you, doesn’t help the other person, and doesn’t help the situation. One of the times we’re most likely to self-sabotage is when we’re in the midst of a strong emotion. Learning to experience and process the emotion, and then make a positive response is what Emotional Intelligence is all about.
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Advice Home Business Technology Online Advertising Motivational Internet Marketing SEO Help Online Games Science Articles Happiness More Articles:1. Buying a Used Sunfish Sailboat: Know The Ins and Outs Before Sailing Away As anyone who’s ever bought a used car knows, you have to approach the project armed with your own knowledge before you even set foot on the lot. In this situation, being uninformed is tantamount to being taken to the cleaners. The same goes for buying a sailboat. And, like automobiles, no sailboat is the same, so you should know the basics (and some particulars, as well) about the overall condition of the Sunfish sailboat you have your eye on. T… 2. Life Coaching Advice- Be Happy With Who You Are And What You Have In this article I write about how we can become content with life by learning to like ourselves and by appreciating what we have in life. There are far too many people who are comparing their lives to that of their friends and neighbours, and who then think that they are not good enough. This can make them become jealous and even depressed. I have to admit that I was like the people I am describing above. I was not happy with the car I drove, or … 3. But How Much Money Are You Making? We just finished a two day craft show and had just returned home when our friend, Harry, arrived at our door. He came in and we sat talking about the events of the last two days. Harry wanted to know how we did. I told him and he then proceeded to say, 'But how much money are you really making? That is, after you take into account your gas, your time, and the cost of your materials'? An interesting question, one, which made me stop and think.… 4. What is a "Simultaneous Second Mortgage?" Here is some more useful information I picked up for everyone to take a look at, hope you get some use from it.The Simultaneous Second Mortgage is originated and closed in conjunction with a first mortgage to purchase and/or refinance a home.So Who is The Target market?You! The borrower that is seeking a lower payment than a high-LTV first mortgage and the simplicity of one loan closing.What's in it for The Bank?1. One-stop secondary marketing ou… |