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'I just don't understand men. Last night I was sitting at the kitchen table, when my husband wandered by with a glass in his hand. 'I asked him, 'Is that a triple-coconut-cream-of-pickle-juice spritzer with a dash of chili powder you're drinking?' He says, 'Sure. What else?' It looked so yummy, that I just had to have a taste. 'Put it down here on the table for me, please,' I asked. 'Want to know what he did next? He emptied his glass on the table. Right there in front of me. It went flowing all over me and all over the chair and all over the floor. Yeach! What a mess. What on earth was he thinking?' Signed, Soaking Lady, 42 Bouncing Canyon Lane I get strange letters all the time. Everybody wants to be happy, and they all think The Happy Guy can solve their problems. Here's another letter I received just today: 'Hey Happy Guy, 'Can you explain women to me? You just can't please 'em. 'Take last night for example. There I was minding my own business, sipping on a juicy glass of triple-coconut-cream-of-pickle-juice spritzer with a dash of chili powder, when my wife asks me to pour it on the table. I mean, is that a crazy request or what? 'But wait. It gets worse. Even though it means sacrificing the triple-coconut-cream-of-pickle-juice spritzer with a dash of chili powder I love so much, I pour it on the table for her. So what does she do? She blows up. She shouts and screams and yells all sorts of four letter words ... each with at least ten letters. 'Can you help me understand women?.' Signed, Thirsty Man, 42 Bouncing Canyon Lane Sa-ay. These two letters are from the same address. Go figure. After a while, a man discovers that he and his wife do not even speak the same language. Sure, we both call it 'English', but we each use different dictionaries. Consider the word 'fine'. When a woman uses the word 'fine', a man knows he has just lost an argument. 'Fine' is a woman's way of saying, 'OK, you win the argument, but you only win because I let you, and I am still right, so take your duct tape and put it somewhere useful ... like across your mouth!' To a man, 'fine' means something completely different. It means that something is fine. It is good. It is as it should be. Some men, such as yours truly, use 'fine' as a response when a woman asks, 'How do I look in this new dress I bought?' Men like that ought to just hop in front of a moving train to save themselves a lifetime of slow, painful torture. When a man says 'fine' to a woman, it won't be long before that woman says 'fine' to him. Better get out your duct tape. So my answer to Soaking Lady is this: 'If you don't like triple-coconut-cream-of-pickle-juice spritzer with a dash of chili all over the table and the chair and the floor, just ask your husband to wipe it up. Anyone loving enough to pour such an obviously tasty treat on the table at your request, will just as lovingly lap it up.' And my answer to Thirsty Man is this: 'No, I can't.' Every relationship works best when we use words the listener will understand as we mean them to be understood. For instance, if a man says 'fine' and a woman hears 'yuck!', just don't use the word 'fine'. Or, do what I do. Keep plenty of extra duct tape for a very rainy day.
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Advice Home Business Technology Online Advertising Motivational Internet Marketing SEO Help Online Games Science Articles Happiness More Articles:1. 13 Incredibly Easy Steps To Be A Perfect Medical Assistant 13 Incredibly Easy Steps To Be A Perfect Medical Assistant (You are right, of course I am exaggerating!) Formal training in medical assisting, while generally preferred, is not always required. Some medical assistants are trained on the job, although this is becoming more and more less common than in the past. Applicants usually need a high school diploma or the equivalent. Recommended high school courses include mathematics, health, biology, typ… 2. Tips for Dating A Single MOm Tips for dating a single mom1) Be understanding. As you may know, most single moms can’t drop everything on a whim to spend time with the men in their lives. However, with the proper planning and rearranging, most single moms enjoy a wonderful dating and social life! So, just give her a little notice. 2) Be understanding. Most single moms are (or should be) careful with their home space. For instance, a wise single mom wouldn’t consider having yo… 3. Emotional Intelligence and ACAs (Adult Children of Alcoholics) Everyone in the alcoholic's family suffers effects from the disease. Typically everyone involved in the life of the alcoholic and dysfunctional family has low or no emotional intelligence. They don't know what they think or feel, and don’t think they have a right to. Many of the challenges facing Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACAs) can be addressed by developing Emotional Intelligence. Here are some examples. [Source: Adult Children of Alcoholics… 4. Deadlines are Lifelines Nobody likes deadlines. Pressure! Stress! Anxiety! But we'veall dealt with them. If you've ever written a term paper thenight before it is due, raise your hand. (Mine is raised.) Ifyou've ever 'crammed' for an exam the night before it was given,raise your hand. (Mine is raised.)It has been said that 75% of all modern technology was perfectedwithin 48 hours of a trade show. Why? The trade show is aperfect example of a deadline; products simply mus… |