Advice from Take our Word.com

Here is the classic 'When/Then' syndrome life coaches work with. You say 'when X happens, then I'll do Y to make me happy'. You are putting off enjoyment until some time in the future when you have attained your financial goals. This is hurting you in many ways, but it can be overcome fairly easily. This attitude also takes a toll on your friends and family. Lets look at how to be happy even though you haven't obtained your financial goals yet.

The key to being happy before you have attained your financial goal is to learn to enjoy being in the process. Most people spend much more time being in the process of attaining the goal, then they do in the achievement phase. We spend years in school, counting on what it will be like on graduation day, and after graduation day, new goals pop up that seem to rob us of our enjoyment of our last goal. We move on to a job, dreaming of a promotion, which then doesn't give us the satisfaction we dreamed of. And so on. Not that I am against money, far from it, but more and more research is coming out that shows little correlation between income over the subsistence level and happiness.

So how do you learn to enjoy being in the process as well as the goal attainment stage? You need to step back from the process and begin to give yourself credit for what you are doing, and you need to find fascination with the work you are doing in the process stage. Look at where you started and where you are going and how far you have come. Develop a sense of satisfaction over the problems you have overcome, the things you have learned. Build a desire to see how much more you will learn, what new things will come up, etc. A side effect of stepping back and looking at where you are going, is that sometimes we discover the goal no longer has the appeal it had when we started the process. Our values, attitudes, etc, change and old goals may not reflect the new you.

Also, do some soul searching about the attitudes you have that are moving you into self-deprivation, which is a step beyond delayed gratification. If you are working with a life coach they may ask you to look for some guilt driving you, unrealistic expectations, or perfectionist tendencies. I suggest you try the motto 'good enough is my very best', meaning let it go once you get it going. Rarely does the effort involved in making something perfect, give you much of a payback compared to making it good enough.

Lastly, set aside some time each day and acknowledge the good things in your life right now. One of the most powerful techniques you can use to build you happiness level is to take a few minutes to recognize and be grateful for the things you have in your life right now that you are grateful for.

So strike a balance in your life between working towards financial success and some time to stop and smell the flowers. You will avoid burn out, life will become fun again, and you will probably work more effectively. Don't you feel better already?


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