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many folks longing to hear it? There is little that goes further towards improving relationships than a genuine 'Thank you.' You know that. Why, then, do so many folks have difficulty with it? Are we moving too quickly to notice what others do for us? Do we just expect so much that we fail to acknowledge the little things? Is there some small part of us that refuses to give what we're not getting? You have probably heard 'It's part of your/his/her job. It's your responsibility. ' Sure, it may be. Does that mean that it does not deserve acknowledgment? You can bet it would be acknowledged if it was not done! At home, we often take each other for granted. We 'expect'. We say things like, 'If you really loved me, you would _______.' Those are expectations delivered in a bartering mode. Where is the appreciation for what they do? Do you expect that the garbage will go out or the dishes will be put away? Why? Because it's their job? How about saying 'Thank you'? Everyone likes recognition for the things they do. It's a very easy habit to acquire. Ever lived with teenagers? The easiest way to engage them is to catch them doing something right. That means saying 'Thank you' when they do it, too. If you think this is too easy, try it for a month. Tell them what you see that you like, what you like about what they are doing/wearing hinking. Forget about adding anything about what you don't like. You'll see the relationship change positively. Still sound too easy? Try it! Simply look and you'll find many things each day worthy of acknowledgment. Stop and appreciate what IS being done for you...and, say so. William James, the great American psychologist, said, 'The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.' Is there a part of you that longs to be seen, recognized and acknowledged? Every person feels better when they are appreciated. Let's not be too busy, or too important, to stop, see, and acknowledge the contributions of others. And, once is not enough. Each time the garbage is taken out or the report is handed in, each time they bring you coffee or extend themselves on your behalf, say 'Thank you'. There is another side to appreciation. It is equally as important as recognition. William James calls it wisdom. He says, 'The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.' Ah! That's worth thinking about, isn't it? Do you know what to overlook and when to overlook it? That can only happen when you step outside of yourself, your needs and wants, and see another person wholly. When you can calibrate what is most important at any given moment in a relationship, you are very wise. Often, when I am working with workplace teams, conflict is worst when folks do not know what to overlook. When tempers flare and approaches differ, nitpicking escalates. When deadlines loom and funding fails, fingers point. A wise person takes a step back and looks at the whole picture. What is happening here? What do we want to happen? What outcomes do we want this exchange to create? This is the time to focus on appreciation and follow it with team problem-solving. The same is true in all relationships. If things are getting tense, reflect on the last time you felt appreciated. More importantly, when was the last time you found something to appreciate in another? This could well be at the bottom of the anger, frustration, fear or hurt that you are feeling. You can fix this with good communication and assertion skills. Start with yourself. Give first. Demanding to receive when the other person is feeling empty will only escalate the negatives. Whoever is most sane at the moment in any relationship is the one responsible for that relationship. Let that be you. Appreciation is never wasted. Find things to acknowledge. Notice what others do well. Catch them doing things right. Notice what others do for you. Offer your thanks. You'll feel better. And, very soon, it will come back to you. I promise.
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Advice Home Business Technology Online Advertising Motivational Internet Marketing SEO Help Online Games Science Articles Happiness More Articles:1. Top Ten Steps to Focus on Achieving What You Really Want 1. Write a list of everything you want in all 8 areas of your life. Physical environment, Health, Friends/Family, Work/Business, Partner/Relationship, Fun/Recreation, Personal Development, Finances. When you can clearly see everything you want, your choice of focus is more balanced. 2. List all the things you don't want to have and then turn them around to identify what you do want. It's often easier to identify what you don't want and th… 2. Dating for Scaredy Cats Dating affects us all at some time or another. For many it happens during the teenage years and twenties, before meeting the love of their life and settling down to wedded bliss for the rest of their naturals.For more and more of us however dating revisits later in life, at a time when we're probably feeling pretty vulnerable, for all kinds of reasons.Mixed emotions surface as a result of divorce - have I still got 'it', am I too fat hin/wrinkl… 3. Relationship Advice That Matters Part One (c)20004It occurred to me I should just jump into what often feels like the “muck” of a better relationship with self because that is so often where the intense work is being done. It can seem like a crisis or the scuffles of getting through the day. Instead of focusing on our relationship to the self, the creator of the perceptions we are reacting to as absolute truths, we too often turn the glaring spotlight on others in our lives.This tendency… 4. Why should I use cosmetic brushes? Most people overlook the importance of using application tools, like brushes, when they apply their make-up. The most important reason is performance. How would you feel if you went to have your make-up done by a professional and they applied your make-up with their fingers? You would not pay for it would you. The same idea applies to you at home. By using a brush that is made for the particular process you are performing (i.e. applying eye shado… |