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'I just don't understand men. Last night I was sitting at the kitchen table, when my husband wandered by with a glass in his hand. 'I asked him, 'Is that a triple-coconut-cream-of-pickle-juice spritzer with a dash of chili powder you're drinking?' He says, 'Sure. What else?' It looked so yummy, that I just had to have a taste. 'Put it down here on the table for me, please,' I asked. 'Want to know what he did next? He emptied his glass on the table. Right there in front of me. It went flowing all over me and all over the chair and all over the floor. Yeach! What a mess. What on earth was he thinking?' Signed, Soaking Lady, 42 Bouncing Canyon Lane I get strange letters all the time. Everybody wants to be happy, and they all think The Happy Guy can solve their problems. Here's another letter I received just today: 'Hey Happy Guy, 'Can you explain women to me? You just can't please 'em. 'Take last night for example. There I was minding my own business, sipping on a juicy glass of triple-coconut-cream-of-pickle-juice spritzer with a dash of chili powder, when my wife asks me to pour it on the table. I mean, is that a crazy request or what? 'But wait. It gets worse. Even though it means sacrificing the triple-coconut-cream-of-pickle-juice spritzer with a dash of chili powder I love so much, I pour it on the table for her. So what does she do? She blows up. She shouts and screams and yells all sorts of four letter words ... each with at least ten letters. 'Can you help me understand women?.' Signed, Thirsty Man, 42 Bouncing Canyon Lane Sa-ay. These two letters are from the same address. Go figure. After a while, a man discovers that he and his wife do not even speak the same language. Sure, we both call it 'English', but we each use different dictionaries. Consider the word 'fine'. When a woman uses the word 'fine', a man knows he has just lost an argument. 'Fine' is a woman's way of saying, 'OK, you win the argument, but you only win because I let you, and I am still right, so take your duct tape and put it somewhere useful ... like across your mouth!' To a man, 'fine' means something completely different. It means that something is fine. It is good. It is as it should be. Some men, such as yours truly, use 'fine' as a response when a woman asks, 'How do I look in this new dress I bought?' Men like that ought to just hop in front of a moving train to save themselves a lifetime of slow, painful torture. When a man says 'fine' to a woman, it won't be long before that woman says 'fine' to him. Better get out your duct tape. So my answer to Soaking Lady is this: 'If you don't like triple-coconut-cream-of-pickle-juice spritzer with a dash of chili all over the table and the chair and the floor, just ask your husband to wipe it up. Anyone loving enough to pour such an obviously tasty treat on the table at your request, will just as lovingly lap it up.' And my answer to Thirsty Man is this: 'No, I can't.' Every relationship works best when we use words the listener will understand as we mean them to be understood. For instance, if a man says 'fine' and a woman hears 'yuck!', just don't use the word 'fine'. Or, do what I do. Keep plenty of extra duct tape for a very rainy day.
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Advice Home Business Technology Online Advertising Motivational Internet Marketing SEO Help Online Games Science Articles Happiness More Articles:1. SOME TIME SAVERS #2 In my Time Management seminars, which I have conducted formore than 100,000 people from around the globe, I showpeople how to get more done in less time, with less stress;to help them have more time for the things they want to doin their work and personal lives.If you can recapture a wasted hour here and there andredirect it to a more productive use, you can make greatincreases in your daily productivity and the quality of yourlife.Here are five … 2. GET NO RESPECT? TRY THIS UNUSUAL APPROACH GET NO RESPECT? TRY THIS UNUSUAL APPROACHLike the late Rodney Dangerfield, you may sometimes find that you 'don't get no respect.' In Rodney's comedy routine, disrespect was amusing. But in real life it fills us with indignation.Our typical response is sarcasm or avoidance. Has such a reaction EVER made a difference in getting more respect from others? I doubt it.Today I'm going to show you a better way to deal with disrespectful people who irk y… 3. Breaking Your Relationship Pattern, Part 4 Finally, after all of the hard work you have done completing your past, here is a way to break your relationship pattern.Relationship choices are often based on patterns created in our childhood. These patterns are automatic and subliminal. We believe ours is the way relationships ought to be. There is no problem having a pattern that leads you to loving, satisfying, long-term relationships. However, many people have patterns that cause them noth… 4. Credit Cards - The Inventor Of Debt Consolidation Companies Like with everything good comes something so overly abused, that turns bad. Credit Cards were invented to help others get by without using cash and being able to purchase goods when you can't find an ATM machine to get money from. But, that all changed, because it made things too easy, like spoiled kids we ran out and just bought everything we wanted and what we didn't even want. Over time everyone was buying stuff from 5 or more cards. The prob… |