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'I just don't understand men. Last night I was sitting at the kitchen table, when my husband wandered by with a glass in his hand. 'I asked him, 'Is that a triple-coconut-cream-of-pickle-juice spritzer with a dash of chili powder you're drinking?' He says, 'Sure. What else?' It looked so yummy, that I just had to have a taste. 'Put it down here on the table for me, please,' I asked. 'Want to know what he did next? He emptied his glass on the table. Right there in front of me. It went flowing all over me and all over the chair and all over the floor. Yeach! What a mess. What on earth was he thinking?' Signed, Soaking Lady, 42 Bouncing Canyon Lane I get strange letters all the time. Everybody wants to be happy, and they all think The Happy Guy can solve their problems. Here's another letter I received just today: 'Hey Happy Guy, 'Can you explain women to me? You just can't please 'em. 'Take last night for example. There I was minding my own business, sipping on a juicy glass of triple-coconut-cream-of-pickle-juice spritzer with a dash of chili powder, when my wife asks me to pour it on the table. I mean, is that a crazy request or what? 'But wait. It gets worse. Even though it means sacrificing the triple-coconut-cream-of-pickle-juice spritzer with a dash of chili powder I love so much, I pour it on the table for her. So what does she do? She blows up. She shouts and screams and yells all sorts of four letter words ... each with at least ten letters. 'Can you help me understand women?.' Signed, Thirsty Man, 42 Bouncing Canyon Lane Sa-ay. These two letters are from the same address. Go figure. After a while, a man discovers that he and his wife do not even speak the same language. Sure, we both call it 'English', but we each use different dictionaries. Consider the word 'fine'. When a woman uses the word 'fine', a man knows he has just lost an argument. 'Fine' is a woman's way of saying, 'OK, you win the argument, but you only win because I let you, and I am still right, so take your duct tape and put it somewhere useful ... like across your mouth!' To a man, 'fine' means something completely different. It means that something is fine. It is good. It is as it should be. Some men, such as yours truly, use 'fine' as a response when a woman asks, 'How do I look in this new dress I bought?' Men like that ought to just hop in front of a moving train to save themselves a lifetime of slow, painful torture. When a man says 'fine' to a woman, it won't be long before that woman says 'fine' to him. Better get out your duct tape. So my answer to Soaking Lady is this: 'If you don't like triple-coconut-cream-of-pickle-juice spritzer with a dash of chili all over the table and the chair and the floor, just ask your husband to wipe it up. Anyone loving enough to pour such an obviously tasty treat on the table at your request, will just as lovingly lap it up.' And my answer to Thirsty Man is this: 'No, I can't.' Every relationship works best when we use words the listener will understand as we mean them to be understood. For instance, if a man says 'fine' and a woman hears 'yuck!', just don't use the word 'fine'. Or, do what I do. Keep plenty of extra duct tape for a very rainy day.
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Advice Home Business Technology Online Advertising Motivational Internet Marketing SEO Help Online Games Science Articles Happiness More Articles:1. The First Step to Real Success Do you want to have success? Do you want to feel a successfulperson? Success is what many people are striving for. Success is deemed to be the ultimate goal to strive towards. That's fine to a degree, because we all need to head towards something worthwhile. However, one of the problems I've noticed is that, although many people say they want success, they can't define it clearly. Their definition of success is vague.People tend to measure succes… 2. How To Choose A High Quality Custom Dress Shirt? How to check if your custom shirt fits? While the shirt is buttoned, you should be able to slide two fingers between your neck and collar. When you move your arm in your custom dress shirt, the sleeves should be long enough so that cuffs do not ride up your wrist. The cuffs of your custom made shirt should just be tight enough that they do not hang over your hand. You should not be able to slip into shirt sleeves without first undoing buttons on … 3. Preparing to breastfeed So, you've decided to breastfeed - wonderful! We're here to help you get prepared, and to supply you with resources for help if you need it. Breastfeeding is such a natural thing; you would think that mother and baby should just instinctively know how to do it. While there is truth to that statement, there are a number of reasons why breastfeeding might get off to a rough start. Mom might have flat or inverted nipples, be tired and sore from a di… 4. Whatever Happened to Proofreading? One of the great things about the Internet is it has made us instant communicators, instant authors and instant ad copy writers. One of the WORST things about the Internet is it has made us instant communicators, instant authors and instant ad copy writers. Too many people just type an email and hit “send,” including emails intended to sell us something. Or they build a nice looking web page, type their content and immediately go to their FTP pro… |