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'I just don't understand men. Last night I was sitting at the kitchen table, when my husband wandered by with a glass in his hand. 'I asked him, 'Is that a triple-coconut-cream-of-pickle-juice spritzer with a dash of chili powder you're drinking?' He says, 'Sure. What else?' It looked so yummy, that I just had to have a taste. 'Put it down here on the table for me, please,' I asked. 'Want to know what he did next? He emptied his glass on the table. Right there in front of me. It went flowing all over me and all over the chair and all over the floor. Yeach! What a mess. What on earth was he thinking?' Signed, Soaking Lady, 42 Bouncing Canyon Lane I get strange letters all the time. Everybody wants to be happy, and they all think The Happy Guy can solve their problems. Here's another letter I received just today: 'Hey Happy Guy, 'Can you explain women to me? You just can't please 'em. 'Take last night for example. There I was minding my own business, sipping on a juicy glass of triple-coconut-cream-of-pickle-juice spritzer with a dash of chili powder, when my wife asks me to pour it on the table. I mean, is that a crazy request or what? 'But wait. It gets worse. Even though it means sacrificing the triple-coconut-cream-of-pickle-juice spritzer with a dash of chili powder I love so much, I pour it on the table for her. So what does she do? She blows up. She shouts and screams and yells all sorts of four letter words ... each with at least ten letters. 'Can you help me understand women?.' Signed, Thirsty Man, 42 Bouncing Canyon Lane Sa-ay. These two letters are from the same address. Go figure. After a while, a man discovers that he and his wife do not even speak the same language. Sure, we both call it 'English', but we each use different dictionaries. Consider the word 'fine'. When a woman uses the word 'fine', a man knows he has just lost an argument. 'Fine' is a woman's way of saying, 'OK, you win the argument, but you only win because I let you, and I am still right, so take your duct tape and put it somewhere useful ... like across your mouth!' To a man, 'fine' means something completely different. It means that something is fine. It is good. It is as it should be. Some men, such as yours truly, use 'fine' as a response when a woman asks, 'How do I look in this new dress I bought?' Men like that ought to just hop in front of a moving train to save themselves a lifetime of slow, painful torture. When a man says 'fine' to a woman, it won't be long before that woman says 'fine' to him. Better get out your duct tape. So my answer to Soaking Lady is this: 'If you don't like triple-coconut-cream-of-pickle-juice spritzer with a dash of chili all over the table and the chair and the floor, just ask your husband to wipe it up. Anyone loving enough to pour such an obviously tasty treat on the table at your request, will just as lovingly lap it up.' And my answer to Thirsty Man is this: 'No, I can't.' Every relationship works best when we use words the listener will understand as we mean them to be understood. For instance, if a man says 'fine' and a woman hears 'yuck!', just don't use the word 'fine'. Or, do what I do. Keep plenty of extra duct tape for a very rainy day.
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Advice Home Business Technology Online Advertising Motivational Internet Marketing SEO Help Online Games Science Articles Happiness More Articles:1. HOW TO SET GOALS - Part 2 What is really important to you right now in your life? In other words, what do you really value? The main headings are: PEOPLE- THINGS- OTHER, e.g. career. Also finances. That word MONEY again! Areas of goals: These can be divided into short, medium and long-term; these respectively being six months, one wo years and five plus years. Also divide them into balanced components, being: personal, family, social and work goals.Then break them down fu… 2. Dying? Not Me! Why you should plan for Transition Remember the Eulogy projects we had to write back in High School? Death is a tough subject to broach, and many would rather deny death then embrace it. Someone once said, '...There are only two guarantees in life: Death and Taxes.' How true is this phrase? It is normally when we are faced with the imminence of dying or death that we only begin making plans or arrangements for our transition. Having firsthand knowledge, it is very difficult to exp… 3. When a Real Estate Agent May Not Be The Best Option Historically, when homeowners wanted to sell their home, the first call made would be to a Realtor. Since the early 1900’s, Realtors have represented homeowners during the process of selling their home, which is usually to another homeowner. Real estate brokers hold state regulated licenses that allow them to market real estate on behalf of the owner. The national average for broker commissions is approximately five percent. In many cases, anothe… 4. How to Limit your Ending Vacation Stress It's the time that you've been waiting for all year long. You have an uninterrupted two weeks away from work. While it should be a time of non-stop relaxation, the idea of your vacation is already beginning to stress you out. You wonder if you'll return from your trip more frustrated and agitated than when you left. At this point, you're stressed out about the cost of the trip...whether your plane will arrive in time for you to take your cruise… |