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'I just don't understand men. Last night I was sitting at the kitchen table, when my husband wandered by with a glass in his hand. 'I asked him, 'Is that a triple-coconut-cream-of-pickle-juice spritzer with a dash of chili powder you're drinking?' He says, 'Sure. What else?' It looked so yummy, that I just had to have a taste. 'Put it down here on the table for me, please,' I asked. 'Want to know what he did next? He emptied his glass on the table. Right there in front of me. It went flowing all over me and all over the chair and all over the floor. Yeach! What a mess. What on earth was he thinking?' Signed, Soaking Lady, 42 Bouncing Canyon Lane I get strange letters all the time. Everybody wants to be happy, and they all think The Happy Guy can solve their problems. Here's another letter I received just today: 'Hey Happy Guy, 'Can you explain women to me? You just can't please 'em. 'Take last night for example. There I was minding my own business, sipping on a juicy glass of triple-coconut-cream-of-pickle-juice spritzer with a dash of chili powder, when my wife asks me to pour it on the table. I mean, is that a crazy request or what? 'But wait. It gets worse. Even though it means sacrificing the triple-coconut-cream-of-pickle-juice spritzer with a dash of chili powder I love so much, I pour it on the table for her. So what does she do? She blows up. She shouts and screams and yells all sorts of four letter words ... each with at least ten letters. 'Can you help me understand women?.' Signed, Thirsty Man, 42 Bouncing Canyon Lane Sa-ay. These two letters are from the same address. Go figure. After a while, a man discovers that he and his wife do not even speak the same language. Sure, we both call it 'English', but we each use different dictionaries. Consider the word 'fine'. When a woman uses the word 'fine', a man knows he has just lost an argument. 'Fine' is a woman's way of saying, 'OK, you win the argument, but you only win because I let you, and I am still right, so take your duct tape and put it somewhere useful ... like across your mouth!' To a man, 'fine' means something completely different. It means that something is fine. It is good. It is as it should be. Some men, such as yours truly, use 'fine' as a response when a woman asks, 'How do I look in this new dress I bought?' Men like that ought to just hop in front of a moving train to save themselves a lifetime of slow, painful torture. When a man says 'fine' to a woman, it won't be long before that woman says 'fine' to him. Better get out your duct tape. So my answer to Soaking Lady is this: 'If you don't like triple-coconut-cream-of-pickle-juice spritzer with a dash of chili all over the table and the chair and the floor, just ask your husband to wipe it up. Anyone loving enough to pour such an obviously tasty treat on the table at your request, will just as lovingly lap it up.' And my answer to Thirsty Man is this: 'No, I can't.' Every relationship works best when we use words the listener will understand as we mean them to be understood. For instance, if a man says 'fine' and a woman hears 'yuck!', just don't use the word 'fine'. Or, do what I do. Keep plenty of extra duct tape for a very rainy day.
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Advice Home Business Technology Online Advertising Motivational Internet Marketing SEO Help Online Games Science Articles Happiness More Articles:1. Not Happy? Be a Chooser not a Victim 'We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them.' -- Khalil Gibran Our life works and can be full of joy when we make effective choices. Our life can be full of sorrow if we make ineffective choices. Chooser vs. Victim As a child, choices were made for me and I had little power over what happened to me. This is normal for children, but when we take this attitude as adults I call it being a 'victim' The opposite of being a victim is… 2. Vocalized goals + Action=Realized dreams WEEKLY WISDOM NEWSLETTERVocalized goals + Action=Realized Dreams December 10, 2003Do you have a dream? Is there something you want to do, to achieve, or to complete? How close are you? How many people have you told about it? Do you have a written plan on how to get there? And the most important question – Are you taking action? This much is absolutely true: If you never vocalize your dreams, and you never come up with even the most rudimentary pl… 3. Beating Cancer -- Gently Feeling overwhelmed with the challenge of cancer? Want to take control of your life and treatment? I can help you. I can show you options which work permanently to control your cancer in a gentle, non-toxic way. You can learn how to locate a doctor to supervise your care who is sympathetic to these treatments.It is no longer necessary to settle for the 'big three' of conventional cancer treatment -- surgery, chemotherapy and radiation. Today's c… 4. Falling Out of Love with Wholesale Warehouse Discount Club Stores I used to love the thought of going to the local wholesale warehouse club, where the products are stacked up to the warehouse ceiling and the shopping carts are brimming with rolls of toilet paper and cases of cheese snacks. Where else could you pay a memberbership fee of a thirty or forty dollars per year and have access to products by the caseload at a discount? After joining such a club I realized that not all the prices were cheaper than the … |