GET NO RESPECT? TRY THIS UNUSUAL APPROACHGet Advice from Take our Word.com on take-our-word.com. GET NO RESPECT? TRY THIS UNUSUAL APPROACH topic will increase your understanding on Advice from Take our Word.com. We at take-our-word.com only provide news, articles, information in Advice from Take our Word.com. Advice from Take our Word.com at take-our-word.com provides the most up to date news and articles. If you have questions please do not hesitate to contact us.
Like the late Rodney Dangerfield, you may sometimes find that you 'don't get no respect.' In Rodney's comedy routine, disrespect was amusing. But in real life it fills us with indignation. Our typical response is sarcasm or avoidance. Has such a reaction EVER made a difference in getting more respect from others? I doubt it. Today I'm going to show you a better way to deal with disrespectful people who irk you, frustrate you, and drain you of energy. HERE'S THE SECRET: When someone gets under your skin, do them a small favor or give them a small token gift. Here are some real-life examples: * A divorced man, whose ex-wife played power games by impeding his relationship with the children, decided to try the small favor route. One day when he picked up the kids from her house he brought her a quart of gourmet-grade cherries. 'I was at the farmer's market and saw these cherries, which I recall were one of your favorite treats,' he said casually. 'I know the market is far from your house, so I figured as long as I'm going to stop by here anyway, I would bring you a few.' * An employee whose boss was hypercritical made a point of bringing her a copy of a magazine article on antiques, a subject that the employee knew was the boss's hobby. As the employee walked by her desk he stopped briefly and gave her the article. 'I read this piece in Newsweek last night, and thought I'd bring it in just in case you hadn't seen it,' he said nonchalantly. * A college student happened to be in the vicinity of a classmate who had participated in spreading a rumor about her. The classmate had just exclaimed that her cell phone battery was dead. The student pulled her own phone from her pocket and offered, 'Here. Go ahead and use mine.' In all the above examples, the recipients of the gift or favor reacted with a puzzled expression, but nevertheless accepted the gesture. In two of the situations the recipients became more friendly later on. (Unfortunately, the hypercritical boss did not, but that's a subject for another article.) When you first try the gift/favor approach, it won't feel right at all. The immature recesses of your mind (what I call the 'inner brat') will NOT want to do it. It may even scold you for kissing up to someone who treated you with disrespect. But your inner brat doesn't realize that you are not kissing up. You are taking charge, choosing to rise above the other person's hostility. This is the mark of a mature person, something the inner brat can't understand. Here are some tips to make the gift/favor strategy even more powerful: 1. You don't have to act right away -- in fact sometimes it's more effective when you wait a while. 2. The gift or the favor must be very small. If it's too lavish, the other person might consider it a bribe or a manipulation. In the earlier example of the ex-wife, suppose the man had brought her some expensive perfume. In that case she could have easily assumed that he was just trying to control her. 3. Any favors that you do for this purpose must appear casual and incidental. Note that the man with the cherries told his ex that he noticed them while he was shopping at the farmer's market. He gave them to her at the same time that he was picking up his kids. He didn't make any special trips. When you present token gifts in such a casual manner, the recipient is less likely to feel manipulated. 4. Use this approach sparingly. If you do it too often, you may be viewed as patronizing or 'kissing up.' It's better to save it for infrequent little surprises. As I mentioned earlier, this approach does not work 100% of the time. But even when it doesn't, you can still reap a benefit. Because you choose to respond with kindness and consideration, you will remain calmer and feel more in control over the situation. And, as an added bonus, you may find that you are not so annoyed by the other person after all!
|
Advice Home Business Technology Online Advertising Motivational Internet Marketing SEO Help Online Games Science Articles Happiness More Articles:1. Rocket Your Way to Riches It's Monday morning and today's the day you begin at yournew post. After a 25 year career in construction, hair-styling or burger-flipping, you've finally landed thatcoveted job with Rocky Rockets Inc.You've been hired as VP in charge of Rocket Buildingand, such is the trust they've put in you, you are to workunsupervised. Eager to impress and get that milliondollar rocket building bonus, you get on with it ...At the end of the week, you launch y… 2. Pitfalls to Avoid as a Newbie in Internet Marketing - Managing Yourself: Email Previously I wrote about the need to establish a budget (time and money), and then about the pressure of information overload when starting out in Internet Marketing. Today I will look at the problem of having your life in chaos trying to keep track of all that you are trying to accomplish. I would like to share with you a number of the techniques I used to help cope with the need to keep a momentum going and also the need to learn and absorb as … 3. Q-Tip It! Back in the 1920’s when Polish-American entrepreneur Leo Gerstenzang invented cotton swabs as a safer way to clean his baby’s ears, he called his product “Q-Tip.” Actually, his first name-choice was “Baby Gay” – but that didn’t sell, so the by-now familiar name emerged. Mr. Gerstenzang chose “Q” for Quality . . . and he must have been on to something, because Q-Tip has become a household word (and we’ve developed a whole ‘nother set of connotatio… 4. Five Must-Knows When Getting a Kanji Tattoo Q: What do famous celebrities like Pink, Britney Spears and the Spice Girls’ Mel C all have in common? A: They all have Japanese tattoos!Japanese tattoos are cool. Of course, if you have money to burn like any of these ladies, you can afford to hire a professional translator to pick out the perfect character combination. But if personal translation is out of your league how can you avoid becoming a kanji fashion victim and get stuck with a tatto… |