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If you go to a “life balance coach,” you’ll probably be told to make a pie chart of your life, and to start removing things that are stressing you. It may be suggested you change your job or career, change your partner, get more day care for the kids, hire a maid, get more exercise, eat more carbs, set priorities, rearrange your schedule, or move around other external things. These are important, but it’s treating the symptom, not the cause. There’s a better way to get life balance that lasts longer and has a deeper impact on your life. It requires that you make some internal changes. After all, you will never be able to remove every source of stress in your life, nor would you want to. Consider for instance that your husband is currently cause you stress. Maybe he’s just had a quadruple bypass or you’re worried he will. Maybe your wife has gotten a promotion and is very on edge lately and difficult to be with. There is stress in the relationship, but is this a reason to throw your partner out, like “toleration”? A person is not a “toleration,” and your primary relationships are not “obstacles.” And if you need an extreme example of this faulty line of reasoning – consider how much stress that little ole newborn baby put into your life! But not only can we not get rid of all our stress, we wouldn’t want to. It is widely reported in psychological literature that every organism (including we humans) seeks what’s called “equilibrium.” Like Goldilocks and the Three Bears, we don’t want too much, and we don’t want too little. We want it just right! Subjects who have spent hours in a sensory deprivation tank are miserable, just like the adrenalin-junkie on the corporate merry-go-round. The ideal is to have just the right amount of stress, change and emotion in your life – not too much, not too little, and just right. And all the time. Ha! What happens, then, to our “life balance”? We look inside, not outside. There is no way we are going to be able to control external things. Just when you settle down for a relaxing evening at home, the neighbor’s fire alarm goes off, and fire engines start arriving. Who knew? What can bring you balance, is to develop your emotional intelligence, which includes such competencies as resilience. This bolsters your ability to handle the stress you can’t eliminate from you life, or wouldn’t want to. Also, by determining your values, and setting priorities according to them, you can bring purpose into your life, which has a balancing effect in itself. How many times have we heard someone say, “They don’t pay me enough to do this job,” whereas there are people volunteering all the time at non-profit agencies undergoing similar stress who experience it positively, because it’s got meaning to them and what they want to be doing. Emotional competency also includes Authenticity and Intentionality. Once you know who you are, you are far less likely to get involved in doing things you don’t want to that will turn into obstacles and needn’t have been taken on in the first place. In other words, you learn to say “no”. Intentionality relieves a lot of stress. It’s saying what you mean and meaning what you say, and making it happen. It’s similar to “If you don’t lie, you don’t have to remember anything.” If you know you will do what you say you will do, and others know this too, think of the paper work (and worry and accountability energy) that will be saved. Lastly, by studying emotional intelligence with an EQ coach, you can eventually learn to modulate the emotions that are coming in. You may still want to be caretaker for your aged mother in your home, and you will experience it as far less stressful, because you’ve learned to manage your emotions, hers, and the rest of the family’s. Life balance is too important. Don’t stop with surface things. Don’t just try and rearrange external things. Work on your emotional intelligence so you experience your life and emotions in a more balanced way. Most individuals recognize immediate results in their life, both at work and at home.
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Advice Home Business Technology Online Advertising Motivational Internet Marketing SEO Help Online Games Science Articles Happiness More Articles:1. The hidden costs of Calling cards You may be aware of the many choices you have when buying a calling card. However, have you considered the truthfulness of the claims that some companies will make in order to get a competitive edge? Are you aware of the tricks that are played and the hidden charges that are made?The minutes that a calling card will offer may look good but did you know that even if you were to make one continuous call, then most companies would steal between 10% … 2. Emotional Intelligence vs. Cognitive Intelligence DEFINITIONSEmotional Intelligence - Understanding your own emotions and those of others, and being able to use this information to bring about the best outcome for all concerned. Knowing where emotions come from and being able to manage your own and those of others. Knowing what emotions mean and what information they are providing. Being able to work well with others as well as alone. Being able to combine cognitive knowledge with emotional know… 3. How To Find The Best Laptop Deals Finding a special laptop deal or price is within every shopper's reach. It's mainly knowing where to look! Simple as that statement may sound, many people in the market for a new or used laptop don't know where to look for that special laptop or notebook deal. They simply don't know how to proceed or what steps they should take to find the laptop deals that do exist, sometimes right in they very own neighborhood. Simple shopping tips or advice t… 4. WHAT YOU REALLY NEED TO HAVE GREAT RELATIONSHIPS Most folks live, work or play with other folks. We all need theskills to play nicely together. Where do we get those skills andtools? And, what are they?It is not rocket science to understand that our early trainingcontinues to play out in our lives. What we did in our familiestends to be our base line until we decide to consciously changeour minds. There are far too many people...believe me, I know,having been a therapist for years...who spend t… |