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“If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself,” wrote the author Hermann Hesse. “That isn’t part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us.” Hesse calls it “hating” the other person, but your reaction can be milder, such as annoyance, disgust, dislike, or a general feeling of wanting to be elsewhere. It’s likely when you feel these things, if you handle the situation with your Emotional Intelligence, you can learn some important things about the other person, your emotions, and also about yourself. Typically we clash with people who are like us in some way, or exhibiting some trait we ourselves have trouble with, and this triggers emotions that need looking at. Emotional Intelligence is all about being aware of your emotions, understanding where they’re coming from and what information they’re trying to give you, and then thinking it through before you respond (or not). Next time you’re with a person who annoys you stop and process what’s going on. If you think they’re “pig-headed” for instance, could this be because you are, or were, or are struggling with this trait in yourself? If you think they’re “scattered and disorganized” could this be because you work so hard to keep yourself focused and organized and don’t like to be reminded about how hard it is? The trick – the learning point – is to sit with the emotion and explore it a bit. Be honest with yourself about where it’s coming from. When you think about it, if you weren’t pig-headed or scattered in the least, your reaction to someone who was would be of either compassion or curiosity. You might wonder how they got that way, or be eager to teach them how to conduct themselves in a manner that was more productive. Instead, if you know the trait all too well, it’s pulling on something inside you, and this is one of the ways our emotions give us information. Sort through what you’re feeling, being honest with yourself. Is their pig-headedness or lack of focus reminding you of yourself at your worst? Is it bringing about the emotions in you that stir when you ARE being pig-headed or scattered? Emotional Intelligence means putting a pause between emotions and response. It means allowing the emotion to process and learning from it, and then using your thinking brain to come up with a purposeful response. Sometimes it may mean not responding at all. If you do respond, you need to put some thought into it. Don’t let it be just an automatic reaction to what’s going on. That doesn’t help you, doesn’t help the other person, and doesn’t help the situation. One of the times we’re most likely to self-sabotage is when we’re in the midst of a strong emotion. Learning to experience and process the emotion, and then make a positive response is what Emotional Intelligence is all about.
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Advice Home Business Technology Online Advertising Motivational Internet Marketing SEO Help Online Games Science Articles Happiness More Articles:1. WORK WITH WHAT YOU HAVE Have you ever taken an acting class and been challenged toimagine as many uses as possible for some simple householdobject? It is a wonderful exercise in creativity. Try it. Goto the kitchen, find a tool you use every day and imagine allpossible uses for it. Well, that seems to me to be the gistof this quote. It is creative to find new ways of doingthings using the resources we have at hand.A short while ago, I was having a conversation with a go… 2. Buying a New Car: Tips to Help You Not Get Burned Do Your Research The first thing you will want is a clear understanding of whatyou are looking for in a car. It's best to narrow your search toa particular make and model that both fits your needs and has agood track record. If you go to a car lot for a particular carand find yourself being steered towards a completely differentcar don't buy it that day. Go back home and research itthoroughly. Edmunds.com has a great tool for comparing carfeature… 3. You can make easy money from the Internet. If it is what I am having in mind right now, this myth is what sets the realistic apart from the unrealistic. You have definitely heard of stories of how people make 4, 5 and maybe 6 figure incomes in the shortest period of time imaginable. While that is true in genuine cases, and I do know of some of these powerful, wealthy individuals, what is often not seen in the success story is the kind of hard work and wisdom put in by these individuals be… 4. Short vs Long Term Manifesting: Home or Business You have a 'bill' to pay, maybe your rent is due on youroffice building, or you need to pay your graphics designer,or your mortgage is due. You don't know how it will getpaid. You've been around this 'creating on purpose' stuff awhile, so you go into bringing that bill to a successfulconclusion. Your desire level is high. It first showed up as afear. You recognized it as a fear, and went about moving it'on purpose', your attention was on the matt… |