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we're often reluctant to let go of our partners completely. We've shared so much of our lives with our partner, it seems almost callous to simply cut them out of our lives--especially if we're ending the relationship on good terms. It's natural that we want to hold onto the loving and supportive part of the romantic relationship, and simply let go of the parts that aren't serving us. This is entirely possible: we can remain friends with our former lovers. We both need to want to build a friendship, however. If we choose to stay friends with a former romantic partner, we will have to establish new boundaries and expectations in the relationship. The old checklists are no longer appropriate, and it may take some time to make a successful transition to the new relationship. It's best, in fact, if we do not spend any time together once we've officially ended the romantic relationship. A clean break is essential. We need time to separate our life from our partner's. We need to reestablish our own boundaries and our own identity. And we need to spend a little time mourning the death of the romantic relationship. It takes time for the emotional connections to adjust, and it takes time for us to gain perspective on the entire relationship. Once we're ready to spend time with our partner again, we must recognize that any friendship that we build is a new relationship. It is not an extension or continuation of our romantic relationship. We will need to start slowly, and to build up a new level of trust. It will take some time to make sure we're using the appropriate checklists. We can't expect the same kind of support or commitment in a friendship as we did in a romantic relationship. By the same token, we may find that we could tolerate certain behavior from a lover, but that we won't accept it from a friend. In many ways, friendships are far more demanding than romantic relationships. We look for a higher level of shared interests and compatibility with our friends than we do with our romantic partners. We may discover that our former lovers don't make the cut as friends--and there's nothing wrong with that. We have a much easier time letting friends drift out of our lives than we do with letting go of romantic partners.
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Advice Home Business Technology Online Advertising Motivational Internet Marketing SEO Help Online Games Science Articles Happiness More Articles:1. Valentines Gift Ideas It's that time of year again when we are all in search of the ultimate Valentines Gift ideas for that special day. Valentines Day comes year after year and let's face it most of us are reduced to uninspired purchases such as heart shaped chocolates, flowers, or we get really desperate and buy the all popular red teddy bear. You're not alone we have all made the mistake of repeat gift giving for no other reason than...last minute shopping. Last m… 2. Think On Paper What is the most valuable use of your time, right now?Whatever it is, work on THAT. Your ability to disciplineyourself to work on those few tasks that can make thegreatest difference in your life is the key quality thatmakes everything else possible for you.Imagine that you are going to receive a $100,000 bonus atthe end of the month if you can work on your highestpriority items every minute of every day. How would youchange your behavior and wha… 3. Clues to help you bust the undercover married man, before you fall in love If your Knight in shining armor still hasn’t come galloping, don’t worry. The right one will soon come through. Don’t be in a rush and run the risk of ending up in the hands of the wrong man – an undercover single man, the fake bachelor – a married man. Is your new man married but pretending to be single? He may seem like the best thing since sliced bread to you, but is he real, genuine, sincere? Is he telling you the truth about his situation? … 4. Oh for Joy! “Joyful Worship”May I ask you a question? What does worship mean to you? Is your desire to worship God similar to King David’s? The Psalmist said that he so desired God that his heart would “pant” like a deer that thirsts after water. David praised God precisely for the joy of seeing and savoring God! Worship is nothing less than obedience to the command of God, “Delight thy self in the Lord…” (Psalm 37:4).Here’s an interesting thought. Pastor J… |