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Holidays and the start of a new year inevitably make us think about how we can improve ourselves, and have the life we want in the future. We make resolutions - I must lose weight, I will save more money - and then lose our way. That's because we aren't matching our resolutions with who we are inside. We're more likely to succeed if we work on discovering our inner, Real selves, appreciate who we already are, and then take a chance on custom-made changes, not one-size-fit all resolutions. Here are ten tips for making the new year better in a Real way. 1. Let your values be your guide -- There are plenty of people who will tell you what should be important to you, if you let them. Friends, co-workers, family, even the mass media, bombard us with opinions and ideas. Don't just accept what others say. Decide for yourself what matters most and let those values set your course. 2. Take a long-term view -- Bad habits, difficult relationships, and other disappointments don't develop overnight. Similarly, life doesn't get better in a moment. Change happens slowly, step-by-step. Have the patience to see it through. 3. Let Go of the 'Shoulds' -- When you were a kid, you needed grown-ups to tell you what was right and wrong and what you should do in a given situation. As an adult you can make these choices for yourself. 'Shoulds' produce resentment and anger. Instead, do what you know in your heart is right, and set your own standards. 4. Define Yourself as Beautiful -- Fewer than five percent of us believe we are beautiful, but whenever I meet someone, I can see something beautiful in her right away. You may not fit the mass media image of conventional, external beauty, but there are things that make you attractive. Remember, beauty is an inside job. 5. Let Go of Being Perfect -- As much as we hear that 'nobody's perfect' it's awfully hard to believe. This is because what we constantly see in the media are air-brushed images of people who appear perfect and we come to believe it is a reasonable goal. When we fall short of perfect, then we feel like failures, just for being ourselves. This year, why not just forget that whole concept and replace it with 'I don't have to be perfect.' The truth is, the people who love you know that you have flaws and just don't care. You don't have to either... 6. Stop Competing -- Life is not a game to be won or lost. It is more like a dance that never ends. People who make life a competition live in fear of losing. But if you understand that there's no first prize and no finish line, only opportunities to grow and experience things, then that fear is replaced by appreciation and wonder. Try to think about growing rather than winning. 7. Try a Little Self-Empathy -- We all hope to be kind and considerate when it comes to others. But have you ever made an effort to think about yourself in the same way? Most of us spend too much time judging ourselves harshly. It's hard to be happy when you let that little voice inside you endlessly say mean and critical things. 8. Make Friends with Your Flaws -- When you stop believing in perfection, it's a lot easier to adopt a new view of those things people call flaws. In many cases, we can redefine these differences and understand them as gifts. What makes a mole a beauty mark? The answer is in your perspective. Why not adopt a perspective that honors all those things that make you different? 9. Listen to Your Body -- Many of us lead lives that are so fast-paced and stressful that we push ourselves to the point of getting sick. In most cases, our bodies send us signals - fatigue, aches, hungers - when it's time to slow down, rest and examine our emotions. We can avoid a lot of sick days if we pause to listen to our bodies and respond with gentle self-care. 10. Try New Things -- In the end, the important things in life are found in relationships and experiences. We feel good when we connect with others and take on challenges that allow us to grow. If you have always wanted to feel closer to someone you know, take the risk. And if you have longed to try something new - in the arts, your work, sports, or anything else -- give yourself permission to try. A little courage will bring you great rewards in the coming year.
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Advice Home Business Technology Online Advertising Motivational Internet Marketing SEO Help Online Games Science Articles Happiness More Articles:1. Being Optimistic v. Wearing Rose-Colored Glasses DEFINITIONSBeing optimistic - Believing the doctrine that this world is the best possible world; having an inclination to put the most favorable construction upon actions and events or to anticipate the best possible outcomeRose-colored glasses - Putting the most favorable construction upon actions events and people and expecting the best possible outcome when common sense dictates this isn't possible or the reality is that it isn't happening. Re… 2. How to Make Your Job Search a Work of Art How to Make Your Job Search a Work of ArtWhat do I mean about a job search beinga work of art? I believe that it is an ad-venture in making efforts to become andbe the best person you naturally are.Most people, I think, think of themselvesas a drone or drudge trying to find andfit into a proscribed set of circumstancescalled a job description. Where doesart fit into that?Here I do not think of art as an objectiveset of things. Art 'things' could… 3. The Truth About Last Minute Gifts Giving a gift? Try to plan your gift giving in advance. Don't wait to the very last minute. Last minute gifts would probably cost you more than you might anticipate. Take a calendar and your organizer. Circle every birthday, your wedding anniversary, christmas and all gift giving dates on the calendar for the entire year. For starters get a 2006 calendar just for your gifts to simplify your gift giving. Plan ahead a few weeks in advance. For each… 4. What Is My Purpose? What Is My Purpose?Helaine Iris© 2002'When I chased after money, I never had enough. When I got my life on purpose and focused on giving of myself and everything that arrived into my life, then I was prosperous.' --Wayne DyerFor most of my life I can remember asking myself the question, “Who am I and why am I here?” My answer to myself often left me feeling empty and wondering if I would ever know my true life’s purpose.As a child and young woman… |