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express your feelings in ways that are clear and assertive? Many folks don't. For that reason, one of two things happens: they hold the anger in, and, as we all know, it sneaks out in strange and often inappropriate ways, or, they explode and scatter their unhappiness over everyone, perhaps, destroying relationships on the way! Neither of these are healthy alternatives. Anger is an arousal in the body that is triggered by frustration, fear or hurt. As that arousal escalates, your body goes into the stress response. When that arousal raises your heart rate to about 120 to 150 beats per minute, the blood from the frontal lobes of your brain, the centers of reason and logic, drains down to protect your vital organs. This is not good news. Why? Because the more angry you become, the more unable you are to think clearly! You have probably experienced that. Just when you are at your loudest, wanting to deal the death blow to prove your righteous position, you cannot think. Then, you often say one of the best things you'll ever regret! Right? When the body goes into arousal, notice. If you are talking to someone at the time, think. It is important to your well-being and the health of your relationships to answer this question: What do I want from this exchange? If a potentially volatile volley of words, accusations, and threats are likely to erupt, leave. No, this is not 'running away from a fight'. This is just informed decision-making. There is one important difference, though: tell the person that you are leaving and when you will return to discuss the issue. This is the difference between being responsible and being a 'hit-and-run' offender. Take care of the relationship. Do not abandon the other person. Simply say, 'I'm too angry now and I'm likely to say things I don't mean. I'll be back in three hours and let's discuss this then. If it is in the work setting, acknowledge your desire to work out the issue, and promise to get back to them within three hours to set a time to talk further. This is not easy, but it is effective! Why three hours or more? Simple. It takes a full ninety minutes for the blood to return to your centers of reason and logic and your heart beat to return to normal. It makes good sense to wait and it demonstrates that you care about yourself AND the relationship.
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Advice Home Business Technology Online Advertising Motivational Internet Marketing SEO Help Online Games Science Articles Happiness More Articles:1. "The Saboteur Within" 'Why You Don’t Have What You Really Want' Lets face it, most of us from time to time feel that life is just one big struggle with a series of never ending problems. Yet the truth is that life does not have to be this way. In fact, it can be just the opposite. Life is not about struggle and overcoming problems. Life is about pursuing and creating what we truly desire in an easy, stress-free manner. Is there something in your life that you want, b… 2. Be True The concept of “being true to myself” seemed foreign to me for most of my life. I would listen to others instead of myself; or I would listen to my doubt instead of my intuition. That’s probably why I kept receiving the same messages over and over again. When I finally started to live in integrity and follow my heart, an amazing shift took place. Now my 'self' almost demands that I live true to my values. In trying to be true to ourselves, we oft… 3. Why Collect Art Glass? Ironically, I was asked this question recently. My first reaction was to wonder just how this person could be so naive. Then I realized that many people who don't collect glass may be naive when it comes to understanding the fascination that we art glass collectors share.There are definitely many different reasons that each person collects art glass, but the one thing we all have in common is the pure appreciation of artistic perfection. Just loo… 4. How to care for pearls Pearls are delicate and soft gems compared with other gemstones. They need extra gentle care. Here is a guide to pearl care.• Clean - wipe pearls regularly and gently with a soft cloth moistened with water. Pearls can absorb perfume, skin oils and dirt easily. Do not clean pearls with detergents and don’t soak pearls in water. • Protect - avoid temperature extremes and chemicals such as vinegar, alcohol and hair spray. They can damage pearl surfa… |