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express your feelings in ways that are clear and assertive? Many folks don't. For that reason, one of two things happens: they hold the anger in, and, as we all know, it sneaks out in strange and often inappropriate ways, or, they explode and scatter their unhappiness over everyone, perhaps, destroying relationships on the way! Neither of these are healthy alternatives. Anger is an arousal in the body that is triggered by frustration, fear or hurt. As that arousal escalates, your body goes into the stress response. When that arousal raises your heart rate to about 120 to 150 beats per minute, the blood from the frontal lobes of your brain, the centers of reason and logic, drains down to protect your vital organs. This is not good news. Why? Because the more angry you become, the more unable you are to think clearly! You have probably experienced that. Just when you are at your loudest, wanting to deal the death blow to prove your righteous position, you cannot think. Then, you often say one of the best things you'll ever regret! Right? When the body goes into arousal, notice. If you are talking to someone at the time, think. It is important to your well-being and the health of your relationships to answer this question: What do I want from this exchange? If a potentially volatile volley of words, accusations, and threats are likely to erupt, leave. No, this is not 'running away from a fight'. This is just informed decision-making. There is one important difference, though: tell the person that you are leaving and when you will return to discuss the issue. This is the difference between being responsible and being a 'hit-and-run' offender. Take care of the relationship. Do not abandon the other person. Simply say, 'I'm too angry now and I'm likely to say things I don't mean. I'll be back in three hours and let's discuss this then. If it is in the work setting, acknowledge your desire to work out the issue, and promise to get back to them within three hours to set a time to talk further. This is not easy, but it is effective! Why three hours or more? Simple. It takes a full ninety minutes for the blood to return to your centers of reason and logic and your heart beat to return to normal. It makes good sense to wait and it demonstrates that you care about yourself AND the relationship.
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Advice Home Business Technology Online Advertising Motivational Internet Marketing SEO Help Online Games Science Articles Happiness More Articles:1. My Washer Does Not Spin Today was one of those days. Yes, the kind that makes you want to throw in the towel. After spending a day dealing with various and sundry technical problems, pesky tasks and surly customer service people, I decided to do just that--literally. Late this afternoon, I tore myself away from my sadly, yet aptly, described 'non-billable' work day to do some laundry--a nice housekeeping task that has an easy enough beginning and a tidy ending that resu… 2. Mind-Reading Game For many people, dating and relationships are not about relating but about mind reading. Do you know what I mean? When you are starting to date someone, isn't your mind busy analyzing your date's every action? Does he like me? What does she mean by that? Will he call again? Did I say the right thing and will she take it wrong? Will he reject me or judge me? In a long-term relationship, it can be even worse. Will she nag me when I get home? Will h… 3. Why should I use cosmetic brushes? Most people overlook the importance of using application tools, like brushes, when they apply their make-up. The most important reason is performance. How would you feel if you went to have your make-up done by a professional and they applied your make-up with their fingers? You would not pay for it would you. The same idea applies to you at home. By using a brush that is made for the particular process you are performing (i.e. applying eye shado… 4. Communication In The Family The earliest lock in existence is an Egyptian lock made of wood, found with its key in the ruins of Nineveh, in accent Assyria. In construction it is the prototype of the modern cylinder lock. There is mention of locks of simple design used by the Greeks and Romans. With the exception of the development of ward locks, however, little was done to improve the efficiency and convenience of locks until the late 18th century. In 1778, Robert Barron p… |